Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wednesday... The Day The Dimwit Does What Has Never Been Done

Oh yes, that's right, the Dimwit has a marvelous idea. There is a theme to today's blog, and it is bacon. Oh, he knows what you're thinking... how is this marvelous and why is this being made such a big deal??? Well, he'll tell you why... because it's bacon DAMNIT! And bacon is the most glorious meat. Don't deny it, because you will be struck down. Without further ado...

1) The all encompassing flow chart of bacon. (Thanks Kev) Ladies, keep this handy, and you'll genereally know what a guy is thinking during those long pauses where he's completely silent, yet you can tell he's thinking about something and you ask the most mind numbing question in the history of man: "What are you thinking?"
2) Got a bo-bo? Perfect solution.
3) What guy wouldn't be cool carrying this around?
4) Or wearing this on a hot date? (What kills the Dimwit about this is that it's actually bacon-scented as well!!!!! AWESOME!!!!)
5) This answers the oldest dilema known to man... how does one make flossing fun?
6) Keep a bag in your pocket at all times, you never know when you might need a snack.
7) Need fresh breath on the go? Try these!
8) Perfect for a special occassion.
9) Buy the Dimwit anything from the above collection of links and you can get this to wrap it in!
10) And finally, just in case you wanted to read up on the collective interweb's knowledge of bacon!

The Dimwit's good friend Homer Simpson once had a great conversation with his daughter Lisa regarding pork products:
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh,
yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Well, there you have it folks. The Dimwit's tribute to a wonderful, magical animal.

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