Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wednesday... fully ready to give thanks... and over-induldge...

Good golly I am in pain. I did this crazy thing called "Zumba" last night. Let me tell you, if you want a cardio work out mixed with a little bit of Satan, go to Zumba. For all you aerobic work out freeks, this is the class for you.

After Zumba, we did another first for the Dim Wit: Sushi. I know, I know, it goes against the very fiber of my being but I decided it was time I gave it a shot. So, I ordered the "Albacore with Fried Onion" which caught my eye mainly because I knew Albacore was tuna and I like tuna, plus in the description it said it was "seared" which, to my knowledge, equated to cooked. Not only was I wrong, but it came out cold with the fried onions being at slighly-above-room-temperature. It wasn't bad, I ate it without any problems in my normal fashion. Additionally, I tried something else I liked, flavored Saki. I had never had Saki before, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Then Nadia, who I considered a good friend up until this moment, offered me a piece of her "catepillar roll". It had avacado, which I love, and some eel. I figured I only live once so what-the-hell. I was wrong in such reasoning. It was like chewing on a big ball of snot. I choked it down, only gagging on it once. For some reason, I was still feeling adventurous. Stop now and cut my losses? Hogwash! Nadia offered me another piece in an attempt to save our friendship. This time it was something called tempura, she said it was fried something-or-other and I figured since it wasn't eel and it WAS fried there was no way it would be another snot ball. So I dipped it in some soy sauce, closed my eyes and went for it. I was pleasantly surprised. It was good. So overall, I'd give my Sushi experience a solid B+, with the catepillar roll putting only a slight damper on the evening.

Alright alright alright, I know you people want your linkage... settle down because I do have some great stuff ready for you...

1) I dedicate this one to my buddy Kevin, the alcoholic slut that he is... you rock dude.
2) Ok, back in my day a good farting contest in class only grossed the girls out and got me a stern look from the teacher. What has this world come to?
3) It wouldn't be as funny if it weren't true! Haha!
4) ANYONE who wants to buy me one of these, go for it. And I don't limit it to one person, I have multiple rooms in my home. And girls, if you need an explanation for why guys are all over this, well feel free to leave me a note with your email, I can explain it all. But for those needing further research material, check this out.
5) I want to beat the living daylights out of whoever thought this was a good idea. It must be stopped. Cross-breeding cartoons is dangerous and should be criminally punishable.
6) Freakin' sweet. It mirrors my life almost perfectly.
7) Alright ladies, I will buy you one of these, but I demand it be used at least once a month to provide me pleasure. Get your minds out of the gutter people!
8) Are these ever necessary? No. Would they make great stocking stuffers? Hellz ya! Would they make work a little more interesting? Need I even ask the question...
9) And finally, for all of you who fell just short of your dreams...

Have a wonderful Turkey Day! I won't be blogging tomorrow, I will be too busy shoveling turkey and a wonderous assortment of Thanksgiving goodies down my throat. Then drifting off to Never Never Land as the tryptophan takes a hold of my mind, body and soul. Ahhh, gotta love this time of year.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tuesday and I'm in need of a laugh.

Alright, we all know what is great for a cheap laugh... LOLCATZ!!!! Mainly because I'm lazy and don't really want to go around the interweb and find a bunch of linkage... and I have a bunch of these stored in my favorites that I want to get cleared out... so here you go... prepare to LOL at LOLCATZ... (and other creatures)...

1) We need more beer...
2) Ok, Monty Python + LOLCATZ = Awesome.
3) Word.
4) Hey sexy...
5) Creepy, just plain creepy...
6) ... I just died in your arms tonight... must have been something you said...
7) Patience my young Padowan.
8) Can anyone else relate to this?
9) This is why I hate cats... because this is their daily process... nasty little fockers...
10) Not an LOLCAT... but seriously, one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a while, just wrong as wrong gets... why do this to that poor puppy???? Then I laughed my ass off for a while...

Have a great Tuesday every one!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday... YAY!

Alright, it's Monday and for various reasons I'm feeling great. Three day work weeks have that effect on me. Also, I am looking forward to getting away from some of the regular stress to spend some time with my family Thursday. Not to mention there is a turkey leg with name on it... poor turkey, never saw it coming... one day just roaming around eating turkey feed, the next he's all chopped up and ready to be baked for my appetitic pleasure. Yes, I think I just made up a word, deal with it.

Alright, here we go for some linkage... prepare yourself, it's bound to get pretty awesome before I'm done...

1) Want to see what my daily flow chart looks like? Well here you go...
2) I'll never buy a $7.00 beer again... seriously, why did it take so long, this is great... now I just have to get rid of the actual beer belly to make room for the fake one... doh!
3) I'm sure some of you have seen this already... but something about it really moves me, it's just amazing that one white guy from America was able to do all this. I don't know if it's the music or the unabashed joy on people's faces while they are dancing, but it's pretty cool to watch. Ok, enough of sappy crap...
4) Again, those of you still looking for Christmas gift ideas for the Dimwit... look no further.
5) Wow, why did some big studio not pick this up? This would be an awesome movie. All my people who miss the classic Nintendo fun, check it out.
6) I kinda want to see this movie, but then again I don't. Very eerie subject matter, but it's about time someone took an objective look at the subject without throwing in a right vs. wrong opinion on it based on tradition or religion. So, yea, I'll probably see if I can NetFlix it or whatever.
7) Ok, seriously, everybody... Wang Chung Tonight!
8) I find this freakin' hilarious. Seriously, if you're the type of person to misplace your cell phone, don't leave naked pictures of your wife on it... and certainly don't sue McDonalds for your own idiocy.

Ok, there you go people... your Monday should go better now that you've gotten your linkage!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Freedom Friday.... b/c I'm not at work... yay!

Good morning/afternoon everyone... I have found my way out of bed and onto the interweb this bright and sunny day... even brighter and sunnier because I'm at my home computer and not anywhere near downtown.

You want linkage?!?!?! You can't handle the linkage!

1) Oh boy, these girls are in need of some serious therapy.
2) Wow, infomercial for the just plain dumb. The interweb is so "magical".
3) USB Man to the rescue!!!!
4) Some interesting art. For those of you who are artsy.
5) Not the most family friendly site, but this is a really good list of the best Will Farrell characters with clips of each one...

Alright, I'm out... have a good weekend!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thursday... my favorite day of the week.... every other week...

So today is my Thursday masquerading as a Friday since I am off tomorrow. Unfortunately I am crazy busy at work today and won't be able to put much of a post together. I know you are truly disappointed, but certainly you will be able to move forward with you life without my links (most of which you could probably find well enough on your own) so really I'm just passing the buck to you to find your own entertainment for the day.

But here's a couple of links for you to check out, just so you all don't think I'm being totally lazy today...

1) Ordering a pizza? Don't get off the couch, just use TiVo... what's the world coming to?
2) It's about time we get Monty Python on the interweb... Enjoy...

Alright, that's all you're getting... back to work for me... stupid job...

Oh and by the way, my company has asked me if I'd like to spend anywhere from 2 to 18 months in Saudi Arabia... my roommate alleges that they generally do not allow drinking alcohol over there... this could be a problem... no beer? Although some would say, after the Halloween party, *snicker*, that it may be good for me. Further investigation of this allegation is necessary...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wednesday... wonderful? Or wonder-awful...

I'm so freakin' tired. Ok, so I went and played "Wallyball" last night... which is played on a racquetball court, with a volleyball net dividing it in two. Well, if you are not coordinated and/or at least competitive in nature, this game isn't for you. We had a crazy lady join us, she was not pleasant to be around and kept yelling at the top of her lungs "I'm ready!" without cause. Then we'd serve it and it would bounce off her head because she has the coordination of a Bourbon Street hobo at 3am during Mardi Gras. Needless to say, our team started aiming for her. The sad part, her own teammates didn't mind us employing this strategy.

Today I have something special for you... an all music video linkage blog...

1) I'm hurt, and I need some healing.... hehe...
2) If I get drunk... well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you. Gotta love Benny & Joon.
3) She blinded me.... with science!
4) Look for the John Stamos cameo... way down in Kokomo...
5) WHAM! Could anyone ever really doubt George Michael's homosexuality after this video? Really? Were people just in THAT much denial in the 80's?
6) Ok, I'm sorry but this is no where near the quality of the original... country music, stop re-doing pop songs and thinking they cross over...
7) My favorite DMB song.
8) HOOTIE!
9) Hootie frontman goes country? Not too shabby...

Alright, I'm stopping there... I'm too lazy this morning to find more...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's Tuesday, but it may as well just be another Monday...

"Good morning" everyone... yes, the quotes are necessary, as I don't really mean "good", I really just am using it as a generic greeting... so yea, there you go... first of all check out my horoscope for the day:

"Let your sense of humor guide you through any sticky situations that might pop up, today. Celebrate the fact that you have a sharper wit than most people by using it every chance you get! With one quick quip, you will be able to get the upper hand without anyone even realizing you took it -- and this will enable you to win any argument without breaking a sweat. The key is to be flexible and patient. You'll have to wait for your perfect moment to strike."

So, don't mess with me today or I'll have to take the upper hand without you even realizing it... I'm very sneaky... Like a ninja crossed with a cobra and a Native American... don't test me... Oh nevermind, I'm too tired for this crap...

LINKAGE!!!!!!
1) For all you Trekkies... I am not one... I think I misspelled Trekkies... who cares?
2) Check out what these people have done with their garages. I'm getting ideas, anyone wanna help transform my garage?
3) My garage would definitely have one of these.
4) Oh wow, just found the desk I'll use once I get my plush corner office.
5) Pretty sweet...
6) YAY! BEER!
7) Seriously, people in Washington D.C. need to read this article. The sky is falling. Literally, and we're all about to die... but the banks will be saved!
8) Gotta love the bearded men and their beardedness.
9) I'm a fan of step 2.
10) NO FETA, OR I KILL YOU! Stupid customers...
11) Give me feedback, how do you like The Daily Dimwit?

Bwahahahahahaha....

So there you go, you got like a double dose of linkage for my unexpected absence yesterday from my blogging duties.

While I am here, I'd like to say that I resent the over simplification of explanations on issues that require greater depth of expression. I will not go into further detail, even if asked, so don't bother asking... as I'll only give you an over simplified explanation on an issue that probably requires greater depth of expression.

And yes, I live in a world filled with Catch-22's and double standards... it's life, deal with it. :-D

Friday, November 14, 2008

Oh Friday, how I've missed you...

Well it's Friday morning and here I am at work. This just doesn't seem right. Luckily it's only 8 hours today. And who knows, I may take some PTO and leave a little early. It all depends on exactly how many people are in the office today. Usually Friday is pretty quiet.

So last night I went to the House of Blues for a "Houston Downtown Young Professionals" fund raiser for Hurricane Ike. My first question was why there were so many 50+ year old people at a "Young Professionals" get together. The second question was where exactly is all this money going that is being raised for Hurrican Ike victims... and how do I get my hands on some. I was a victim... ok, so my house is standing with an intact roof... and I only lost power for about 36 hours, but those were 36 very scary hours, have you been through my neighborhood?

Alright, enough of that... here's your linkage for the day...

1) An impressive milestone indeed.
2) Pretty sweet chair. I'd buy it if I were all kinds of rich and had money to waste.
3) Donkey Kong!
4) I KNEW IT!
5) Just FYI.
6) Anyone else a Strongbad fan? Haha! He's awesome!

Have a happy Friday. Peace out.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday... I've waited for you all week... now that you're here I want you gone...

Good morning. I almost went to bed on time last night, but managed to get 6-7 hours of sleep by my estimates. That's really good by my standards. I tried to watch a little of the Rockets' game last night but that didn't go so well as it didn't start until 9:30pm. So without further ado, here's what you all came for:

1) Dogs may be dumb at times (lick themselves, pee on the floor, etc.) but at least they don't do this.
2) Alright, I want to have a little party where we make these... then try to build something with them. Awesome... (yea yea yea, I know it won't work but it would be fun anyways)...
3) This guy is more of a hero than most of us will ever be...
4) More shirts!!!! Come on, they are funny... admit it!!!

That's all I have for you today... have a good one.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wednesday... What shall I do tonight????



I'm open to suggestions, I have nothing to do tonight. My laundry is finally caught up, my house is relatively clean, I don't have anything on the calendar... and I don't really feel like sitting at home and twiddling my thumbs... On to the linkage...

1) You have got to be kidding me. Batman? If only I was the mayor of Superman, TX... I'd be rolling in the dough...
2) The most awesome toaster ever.
3) For you Dallas Cowboy fans out there, suck my big toe... your team sucks almost as much as mine does.
4) Therapy will be needed for these three once they learn the truth. Seriously, was there no other option? This certainly couldn't have been safe. And really, who wants to try to explain that to their friends.... "No, really, she's like my mom AND my grandma..." The biggest shock was that this didn't occur in Arkansas...
5) Christmas gift idea for those still wondering, "What does the Dimwit need?"
6) T-shirt? Heck, I want to frame it and put it on my cubicle wall!
WARNING!!!! GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD... STOP NOW IF YOU ARE A WIMP!
7) Alright, I'm about to post two photos... I cannot find the weblink, so I'm posting here. The first is just a kid with some scabs on his nose. The second photo is rather graphic and shows how those scabs got there. Please, if you are faint of heart, just close the window now and move along with your day. However, if you want to know why mom and dad always told you never to run with a fork in your hand, see below... ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.... my nose hurts just looking at that photo...


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday feels like Monday, which feels like CRAP

Alright everyone, I'm not Mr. Sunshine-Up-Your-@$$ this morning, so deal with it... I'm freakin' tired and I blame Kevin and his "Hey, let's go to Austin this weekend and party like crazy on 6th street, shove 6 people in a hotel room and ralf on the floor..." suggestion... although it was AWESOME and I'd totally do it again... but I'm tired as hell and I have to blame someone... And now for what you all have been waiting for... LINKAGE!

1) Haha... Granny talks into the wires...
2) Is that a wrench in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Oh, yea, it's a wrench, now go away before I beat you with it...
3) For you girls and your incessant need for pillows beyond any reasonable number of pillows on a couch/bed/floor/wherever.
4) Political commentary... get ready people, I won't do this often but this story really bothers me. The first thing that bothers me is that there are foreign casinos and bookies who actually take bets on who will be elected president. The second thing that bothers me is these bookies/casinos are withholding payment on the election out of fear of assassination before the inauguration. What a sad state of affairs we are in as humans. Whether I agree or disagree with the American public, I think it's sad that some people are acting with such extremism that foreign casinos won't pay on the bets made. Costa Rica anyone? Seriously... lets go!
5) On a lighter note, at least we don't all dress like this or this. Although in a socialist society, freedom of expression is typically pretty limited, so you never know... (We wont discuss how hot I may or may not think the chick is in the second one... I plead the 5th.)
6) Any time I get a chance to link up to this video, I'm going to do it.

Alright, have a Tuesday... good, bad or indifferent...

Monday, November 10, 2008

Monday Morning Headache

Ug... a short prelude to the linkage: 6th Street in Austin is the bomb, but I need more than 24 hours to recover...

1) The Eyeball of Doom
2) A shirt for Miranda.
3) Seriously, I'll take 3... all you little Smart Cars better watch out!
4) This is how I handle my home cleaning projects too...
5) Alright boys, let's play nice and share your toys.

Alright, that's all I can manage today... have fun...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Ah, Thursday... every other week, you are my favorite day of the week...

One day of work today, then I get to sleep in tomorrow, enjoying the warmth of my comforter and basking in the noon day sun as I stumble to the computer and start talking to all my friends who have to work tomorrow... wow, just typing that refreshes me...

LINKAGE!!!!

1) Oh please please please, Jeanne, can I PLEASE buy one of these????? I already know the answer... the link is the closest I'll ever get to this glorious piece of awesome trash... err... art...
2) Here's a fun game to pass the time... It's like Tetris, but instead of clearing lines of blocks, the aim is to build the tallest tower possible. Sounds easy right, except that the designers have incorporated the laws of physics, so your tower must be structurally sound or it will fold faster than the French Army.
3) For those of you interested in an entirely different candidate to support... just follow me here, I know the election is over...
4) Thanks Miranda... ROFL
5) There are so many things wrong with this story.
6) This kind of thing happens to me all the time...
7) Only 130??? Pft... call me when you reach 130,000....
8) Thank you for taking yourself out of the gene pool...
9) A closer examination at the voting results.

Alright, I'm done... have a great day... I'll chat with you tomorrow... noon-ish... :-D

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tuesday... Election Day... I really could care less...

As election day approached, I realized that it is neither my calling or desire to be entirely wrapped up in the doom and gloom of either candidate being elected. We're screwed either way if you want my honest opinion. But I will stop there, as I don't want the Dimwit to become a political blog. The Dimwit is just that, a dim wit, so his opinion on political matters should be ignored... On to the linkage... (theme music plays)... Yea, I am dreamin'... oh to be there right now instead of here...

1) So I found some funny t-shirts... here's the first one of the day and it reflects my sentiments precisely... haha...
2) Freakin' sweet...
3) Um... can I get these blown up, framed and hung all around my house?????
4) Hey Goose you big stud! Take me to bed or lose me forever!
5) A "HOLY @#$%" moment if I ever heard of one... reminds me of Talledega Nights and the cougar... hahaha...
6) I do not endorse any candidate... but Dixville Notch has spoken... hahahah... who the hell gives their town this name?????
7) I don't endorse any candidate, but I can endorse this!!!!

Alright, that should be enough mindless entertainmen for you all today... have a great one...

Monday, November 3, 2008

Monday Monday... I've got a case of the Mondays...

"Good" morning everyone. Really, what's good about it? This weekend was going absolutely wonderfully until 7pm Saturday night. It just went down hill from there. The Longhorns bowed out of the championship picture, then the Texans decided to suck it up in Minnesota. Do I spend too much time watching football/baseball/ESPN??? Quite possibly the answer is a resounding "YES" but I lack a sufficient alternative.

Well, I guess I could find something among the list below, but I will just stick with football... at least with football I have the chance of picking up a woman...
1) Oh dear lord someone has too much time, TOO MUCH TIME, on their hands...
2) I could order me some of these to decorate El Casa de Samuel. (Jeanne might single handedly kick my @$$ for even thinking of doing this.)
3) Or look uber cool in these...
4) I could brush up on my skillz... (put the knife down Jeanne)...
5) But I gotta say, at least I didn't get caught doing this on Halloween... (let's not mention what I did get caught doing... lol)...

Have a good Monday, b/c I wont... haha!