Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Wednesday... Happy New Year's Eve

The Dimwit wishes all a happy new year. He'll be taking a hiatus until the 5th, so you'll be stuck without him once again for a brief while. Get over it...

The Dimwit talks frequently throughout the day with Lady J using this new-fangled "Yahoo Messenger" which comes in handy, much easier than emailing back and forth you know... Anyways, in their conversation yesterday Lady J was, shall we say, "bored" at work and was eating a cookie. Not just any ordinary cookie, but according to Lady J it was a 1/2 pound Santa cookie. She gave a running play by play of each bite, describing exactly what part of Santa she was eating. Naturally, this led into some rather immature and quite funny remarks referencing Santa's package, and eventual lack thereof. Along with other random and off the wall subject matter, the Dimwit concluded that if an outsider was reading their conversation, they may very well come to the conclusion that they were two "mentally challenged" folks having a wonder banter online.

*The Dimwit selects a fine looking soapbox and steps upon it.*
On a side note, the Dimwit wants to know why "retarded" is no longer PC. If one is to look at the literal definition: To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede... one would see that this is an accurate descriptor for someone whose mental capacities are slowed, delayed or impeded. Now the Dimwit certainly doesn't advocate yelling "Hey, retard!" to get someones attention, but certainly the phrase "mentally retarded" isn't SO inaccurate that it cannot be used for description of someone who is slower mentally than the norm.
*The Dimwit steps down from the soap box and returns to regular blog mode.*

Here is a short excerpt from their latest chat...

The Dimwit: i swear... outside observers would think we're mentally handicapped
Lady J: I sense another blog
Lady J: Santa has a big beard

The Dimwit: hahaha... The Dimwit breaks down Lady J's molestation of Santa...
Lady J: LMAO
Lady J: the red icing tastes funny though
Lady J: it haz spraklez.
The Dimwit: fascinated and easily distracted by flashy objects? check
Lady J: weee!
The Dimwit: random non-linear thought processes? check
Lady J: I lost the remote
Lady J: hrm

The Dimwit: conversation centered around food, bodily functions, and sex? check
Lady J: sex?
Lady J: where?
The Dimwit: fixation on sexual topics? check
Lady J: aw
Lady J: jerk
Lady J: the wikipedia definition of sex is boring
Lady J: it's more about gender
The Dimwit: i'm just going through the "are we mentally retarded?" checklist...
Lady J: oh
Lady J: is there a site for that?
The Dimwit: no, i'm making them up as i go... self-diagnosis and all...
Lady J: oh.
Lady J: darn.
Lady J: now I want to pass out
Lady J: just waitng for the sugar to kick in
The Dimwit: i WANT another cup of coffee... but i'm about to leave in a bit and me high on caffiene and driving = another speeding ticket
Lady J: weeeee!
The Dimwit: YAY!
Lady J: lol
Lady J: there is glitter all over my computer now
Lady J: you know that canned air spray you use to clean keyboards?

Lady J: omg dude
Lady J: it has a taste
Lady J: I cleaned my keyboard, tappetiy tap
Lady J: then went and ate something
Lady J: and this FUNK was on my fingers

The Dimwit: lol... only you Lady J... only you

So, there you go, that's the kind of conversations they have on a daily basis. Alright, enough of this drivel, on to the (play the music) LINKAGE!!!!

1) The Dimwit thinks this may just be the most awesomely worst video he's ever seen. The roommate subjected him to it and The Dimwit is scarred for life. WARNING: Mildly NSFW, contains subject matter not suitable for... well... anyone, but somehow you're still going to click it and watch.
2) Check out the awesome new spacecrafts designed to replace the shuttle.
3) Some pretty cool lamps... the Dimwit digs the one that looks like a big worm with legs...
4) You call that a knife? This is a knife...
5) Another sign the Apocalypse is near...
6) And The Dimwit ends it all with this cool little video...

The Dimwit will see you all next year! Party like it's 2009, baby! Oh YA!!!!

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